Cheat On Essay
Break the writing process up into manageable chunks; this helps you to excel at each stage and plan your time so that you hit your deadline. Follow these 7 stages to achieve optimal results from your writing:
Analyse the title: Work out properly in advance what the question is asking for. Note keywords and function words (for example ‘compare’, ‘analyse’ or ‘discuss’).
Make a timetable: Remember the 80:20 rule – 80 per cent on preparation (Stages 1–4) and 20 per cent on writing up and finishing (Stages 5–7). Make your essay timetable fit in realistically with your other commitments and put a copy up at your desk.
Gathering data: Keep in mind what do you need to know and where are you going to get this information from. Highlight key info in your notes and use online resources carefully and wisely.
Planning: Get your data down in the most helpful way you can and plan out the structure of your essay in detail before you start it.
Write the first draft: Remember to write for your reader, and guide them through your argument. Assume and maintain an academic voice and style.
Revise your draft: Print your draft out and read it through. Mark up any changes you need to make on the paper, then, back on computer make these changes to a copy of your original version and rename it.
Check and polish: Tidy up the finished version, paying attention to the main areas: content and presentation. Proofread your work carefully before submitting.
Okay, so with Christmas looming you've got a lot of assignments coming up right? And you really don't want to do them? Us neither, so come join us down here in the moral low ground with our easy-to-use cheating guide.
1. Plagiarise properly
The old copy and paste method alone simply won't do. You need to follow up with a thesaurus and change a few words to avoid detection. If you're copying from some PHD professor's article and there's phrases like 'the anomalist duplicity of Milton's prose', you may want to dumb it down so they don't smell a rat.
2. Manipulate the word count
Ever had to do a 2000 word essay and hit a brick wall at 1000? There are a few simple things you can do to help build it up some more. Change 'Shakespeare' to 'William Shakespeare', U.S.A should become the United States of America. When you're finished you need to write a conclusion, so just repeat exactly what you've been saying and pray you hit the 2000 word mark. Chances are you've been given a really long and boring question so pasting it at the beginning should eat up another 50 words. To your lecturer, the bibliography doesn't count, to you it does!
3. Send the wrong file to your lecturer
If you're stuck for time, send it in a file your teacher won't be able to open. If you have to e-mail your assignment, you can corrupt a Word document by opening it up in notepad, delete a few lines, and re-save it as an unreadable file. This trick all depends on how tech savvy your lecturer is, and their overall soundness.
4. Pretend you read books
Forget libraries. If you're doing an essay on something like 'relationships in Pride and Prejudice', type that exact phrase into Google Books. Pick the first scholarly book you find and lift a quote from it that has something remotely to do with what you want to say and boom! You've read a book! For referencing, the ISBN number is on the front page so scroll up and type it into Harvard Referencing Generator (http://www.harvardgenerator.com/ )and double-boom! Not only have you read a book, but you've fully referenced it too!
5. Lick up to your lecturers
Find your lecturers weak spots. Chances are he/she calls themself a doctor despite having as much credentials as Dr Dre, so you need to massage their ego even more. Refer to their own texts and essays they've written, and show how you've geniously came up with the same perspective as they did.
All these methods should help you scrape through the first semester. If you get caught, take the Lance Armstrong route and plead complete and utter ignorance for as long as you can.